Tips for navigating menopause that have helped me
I celebrated my birthday this week. I was born in 1962 and turned 62 this year. My birthday gift to you is some tips for navigating menopause that have helped me along the way.
Like you—probably, since you’re reading this—I experienced hot flashes and night sweats (vasomotor symptoms), fatigue, weight gain, very itchy skin, anger, irritability, extreme mood swings, headaches, and vaginal dryness and painful sex.
Since my risk of breast cancer was higher than average, I decided not to take Menopause Hormone Therapy (MHT) and opted instead for improving my symptoms through lifestyle modifications. By the way, if you’d like to know your risk for breast cancer and whether you are a good candidate for MHT or not, let’s talk.
Here are some tips for navigating menopause that have helped me along the way:
WHAT HELPED VASOMOTOR SYMPTOMS
Exercise – I joined a gym and participated in weight-bearing exercise classes. Quickly I noticed that if I dropped my exercises to less than three times a week my hot flashes and night sweats would worsen. Have you felt that too?
I stopped adding sugar to my tea (now I use honey instead) and baking.
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) – I wish I had read this book years earlier – Managing Hot Flushes & Night Sweats. A Cognitive Behavioural Self-Help Guide To The Menopause by Prof Myra Hunter and psychologist Melanie Smith.
WHAT HELPED ME SLEEP BETTER:
This trifecta is very important:
The most helpful thing for a good night’s sleep is not to drink alcohol in the evening. Drinking alcohol before bed may help you fall asleep faster and make your sleep feel deeper at first. However, as the alcohol wears off later in the night, it disrupts sleep, leaving you tossing and turning and waking up feeling less rested. Have you tried this tip yet?
A bed time routine of gentle stretching and yoga, and slow breathing with the lights dimmed and calming music prepares my brain to shut off when I hit the pillow.
Falling asleep before 10:30 PM.
Writing about things that are worrying me hours before bedtime prevents me from thinking about them when I get to bed.
When I wake up during the night I NEVER look at the clock; instead I focus on my breath to go back to sleep quickly. I know that as soon as I think of something my brain wakes up and then it will take hours to fall back to sleep.
WHAT HELPED MY HEADACHES
It’s easy to get dehydrated. When I feel a headache coming on, I drink a whole glass of water. To prevent headaches and for brain health (dehydration also worsens brain fog), Dr. Lisa Mosconi recommends drinking two litres of water per day. But stop drinking liquids at least three hours before bed to avoid having to get up to use the washroom in the night.
WHAT HELPED MY BRAIN FOG
Taking brain-breaks helps me – when I think I’m going crazy from too much work and stress, when it feels like my brain is “oozing out of my ears”. My brain-breaks consist of getting out of my chair, going to the balcony, stretching, breathing deeply and slowly, and moving around for five minutes.
No multitasking. I set my iPhone to Focus (instructions here) to disallow Notifications (except from important people). Without distractions and interruptions, I can concentrate on one task at a time and accomplish more, faster, and better.
Getting my priorities straight and saying no to commitments that aren’t helpful to my quality of life. Yes, I stopped being a pleaser and now focus on me first. Have you tried that? It feels wonderful. And it’s not selfish, it’s self worth!
Make lists—for everything. I try to be honest with myself and only write down what I can realistically achieve or accomplish. I force myself to remember that I can’t (and shouldn’t!) do everything. Accepting this truth has freed me from unnecessary effort and stress.
WHAT HELPED MY MOOD (irritability, anger, rage anxiety…)
I experienced this for two years before I found out that other women have similar experiences – when I’m driving, I feel calm and collected but I get very anxious sitting in the passenger seat, regardless of the driver. To prevent the anxious feelings and the driver from ‘kicking me out” 😊, I read or I sit in the back seat where my view of the road is obscured.
Anger and rage in perimenopause were very hard to manage because it may surface very quickly. Sharing what you’re going through with those you live with, love, and work with should help. (In postmenopause I felt a lot calmer and in control of myself.)
I counted to 10, 20, 30…
I removed myself physically from the room.
Walking, especially in nature, has a calming effect.
Yoga, meditation, and slow breathing in the morning (or when I needed to calm down) is helpful and healthy.
WHAT HELPED WITH VAGINAL DRYNESS/PAINFUL SEX
Uberlube (vaginal lubricant) during sexual activity. Non-negotiable.
Estradiol vaginal cream twice a week to regenerate tissues and improve my sexual health.
Note: Individualized therapy is key to improving your quality of life, sex life, satisfaction, pleasure, and intimate relationships. If you’d like to know more, let’s talk privately.
WHAT HELPED MY ITCHY SKIN
Body lotion. Especially rich in urea and applied right after showering to retain moisture. Or any time it itched!
The itching also disappeared after I stopped eating dairy.
WHAT HELPED MY ACHES AND PAINS
Exercising.
Finding out about my food sensitives. Gluten causes inflammation. My hands ache and woke me up during the night. Once I stopped eating bread, pasta made from durum wheat, pastries, etc.. the pain went away and so did my bloating, and even my brain fog cleared!
I stretch my feet, calves, and hamstrings every night before I go to bed, and I stretch my (feet) plantar fascia every morning before I step out of bed.
Walking and swimming.
WHAT HELPED WITH WEIGHT GAIN AND FAT ACCUMMULATION AROUND THE MIDDLE
Weight-bearing exercise – with an attentive and professional personal trainer.
At every meal, eat enough protein, fibre, and a healthy fat to prevent snacking.
For years I’ve been making a weekly menu and accompanying shopping list; I plan healthy meals for the week ahead and don’t waste any food.
I bake desserts that are gluten-, dairy-, sugar-free, and taste delicious.
The good news is that perimenopause (the years leading up to menopause) is the stage where symptoms are more bothersome; that seems to be due to hormone fluctuations. In postmenopause (12 months + one day after your last menstrual period) many symptoms subside because estrogen levels, albeit low, are stable.
Most, but not all, vaginal dryness tends to get worse with time if left untreated. There are many inexpensive and easy-to-use therapies; let me guide you through them.
One more tip- for every challenge that (peri)menopause poses there’s a solution. I can help you!
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